Annual Conference reflections...

Annual Conference always brings to mind the old line 'the best of times, the worst of times'.... lots of admin details, lots of time listening to talk and the reminder that the UM system is built on a ton of dysfunctions... and yet there is also some great reminders of the genuine ministry dreams in the covenant, some wonderful fellow servents in the lay and clergy ranks, and the far reaching joy that comes from being apart of something far bigger than one pastor, one congregation or even one city. This 09 edition enabled us to meet our new bishop, Bishop Elaine Stavonsky, who is a wonderful lady as well as a talented leader. I was also blessed with the opportunity to play lots of music with a collection of fellow clergy who are not just immensely talented, but visionary in thier own communities worship settings. We had a blast, and the music is still shakin' the halls of Two Rivers! We dealt with several issues, one involving the future reshaping of the Annual conference boundries and another which reminded us that having a pastor is getting evermore expensive...but in the end we did have a conference that came off with few challenges...One important program we will be utilizing in 2010, Rethink Church. expect to hear more about it soon! A special thank you to Bob and Candy Schroder and Kristie Newton who served us well as AC reps!

Summer Read!!

Let's grab a copy of Kathleen Norris' "Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary Of Faith" for our summer read! Dr. Norris may sound pretty formal and deep, but banish such thoughts for she is an excellent storyteller who has gathered up some of the more difficult words in the vocabulary of faith and given them some great context in the lives of people. She works to bring faith alive while also encouraging us to not fear tough words and ideas which often bring confusion and fear to our faith. So grab a copy from one of the chain stores or from Amazon and let's enjoy some stories of faith which will enrich our faith and understanding! More soon...

Pastor's Summer read....

Greetings to all!!! I am at present looking at a book for the summer read so I will keep you posted.. time to curl up in the patio chair or sit by the pool and enjoy a good book about faith! And get a tan!!! be on the lookout the second week in June and we will have one to go! Keep an eye out via church bulletins and newsletters or check the blog so we can read again... may your summer be a healthy and whole one!! Blog you soon!!!

Rev. Michael

Thank You.....

to all who have been following along and participating in the Sunday night seesions!!! I hope that the journey has been good as well as informative. May the days be filled not with regrets and feelings of failure, but with the capacity to engage life with a hope and joy that brings to the surface the core love that the Lord has for us!! Our next text will be a summer read, so be on the lookout for another good book!!!

Thanks again for the time and travel together!

Closure....

how we seek to close things out, to end the chapter and to move on to the next. Or do we? Often times our past intrudes and assists in writing the present.... do you think that in Mack's closure moments Papa is attempting to end this tendency to allow the past to write the future?

The choice... interesting.. "You can stay here with us and grow" or go back to that cruddy place and "know" we are with you! Ok, some addition (we call this eisegesis in the seminary world..taking our experiences and shaping the interpretation with them rather than letting the words speak for themselves) on my part, but I am one who talks up the relevance for knowing the Lord in this life makes a difference, for seeing that growth and progress happens down here as well, not just existence. Fortunately Sarayu comes to the rescue "if anything matters, everything matters'. Yes!!!! I love that idea....

How about the transformation of the Shack back to old and ugly? Why not something that is reassuring, comforting? Something beautiful? Because the past doesn't "change". It is still the same, it is simply our way of incorporating it that changes. Mack sees the shack with a new vision, and it no longer owns him. How has "The Shack" encouraged you to see the past through different eyes?

Forgive me... for give you...

Time to buck it up, to face the worse circumstances and gather up the strength to be healed. Sounds strange, gathering up the strength to be healed, but this does make sense when placed in the context of therapeutic restoration. Mack is not wanting to forgive the killer, and can you blame him? But, some very interesting and, in some ways frightening, responses come Macks way. "Forgiveness does not establish relationship. In Jesus I have forgiven all humans sins against me, but only some choose relationship." Is there a difference? How would you see your understanding of God; just limited to forgiveness or as being in relationship? Is a relationship with God necessary in order for salvation to find its relevance?

Do you find it difficult to forgive? How do you ask the Lord to help you forgive?

I do like the way my spelling mistake came out in the title... to forgive is to give... to give something to someone that they have not earned, and in most cases, they don't really deserve. To give to someone the chance to live differently (although remember, we don't change others; they can only change themselves) without "our hands around their throat."

What do you think of the reciting of forgiveness mantra over and over in the hard cases? Does forgiveness become easier as time goes on?

Why can't we all just get along???....

Edward Hicks, "Peaceable Kingdom"

...so echo the words of Rodney King as I take in the "Festival of Friends" chapter.. a very nice visual to experience our communication as colors and light... a bit new agey, but I think it does apply readily to us as those seeking so much from those around us. So, what colors were your communication yesterday? bright and colorful, filled with energy and vitality, or dark and foreboding, greys that are marked by distrust and fear, or perhaps blues or blacks that were created by sorrow or anger?

The reuniting with Daddy dearest is just not working for me.... I am one who believes that in this world the things we do matter, and heaven is the continuation of the steps we have made toward the best life can offer, not the annulling of everything that has happened on the earth. This is Young's break with Scriptural workings of Jesus, whose voice often spoke of a separation which is marked by the sheep heading one way and the goats going another.....simply put, chasing the dreams of God and following in the steps of Christ does matter, and I find it hard to believe that feelings between two people that never existed are suddenly not just present, but the center of the relationship. Do I think Mack would have just looked at him and said "you @$#$#*^ slimeball from hell" kind of thing... no, yet Jesus teaching about heaven is that it is a place where paradise is offered and Mack's dad played no part in bringing a touch of paradise to him. This is painfully over simplified for me and in it's own way it goes against much of what the church teaches as far as afterlife. If everyone gets in, then why the following? And even for the Ted Bundy's of the world who repent, I am thinking that the families of all the girls he murdered are going to find a heavenly Realtor and relocate if put into the same zip code as him. Not because they are vengeful and spiteful, but because what he did while on earth mattered, and they suffered through a loss that Mr. Bundy could care less about. Still, that is why I am not in charge of the heavenly roles and I don't get to say who gets to heaven!

Still, we are chasing the dreams of God, so in its own way we are blessed to bring a touch of heaven to those who surround us each day. Acts of kindness, a loving touch in the midst of discord, a challenge when one is going astray, perhaps even a stern word which protects one from hurting others. All of these are blessings blown from heaven, a gift of grace that lightens the load and prepares us for the days when the wolf shall dwell with the lamb and the leopard lies down with the kid!

How did you feel about the reunion with dear ol' dad? do you think that all the emotions and feelings we carry through life are just erased when we all get to heaven?

This was the most calm and peaceful ever....

...even though my computer at the church went down!!! Ugh... and Jesus may save, but I didn't back up very well!!! Might be heading to the geek squad soon!!!

Accordingly, I had a day which found me, like Mack, exploring nooks and crannies I might be missing out on, and I really enjoyed it! Time to seek God's presence in a different way, and Sarayu is helping Mack to understand it is very dangerous to say "The Lord told me.." I remember when we had a Chrysalis leader in another state who had "visions from the Lord" about how the program was terrible and needed to be tossed out and "the Lord wanted something different". Well, let's just say several things happened; 1) the program, which had been pretty meticulously structured, wound up chaotic and messy (and heck, Emmaus/Chrysalis with the program can seem awfully messy! But without the proper structure and guidance of the time lines and the program, the thing just sank) 2) the oversight group for the national conference had to step in and pull the charter which meant that others could not put on a flight for a while, and 3) the Lord didn't bless the endeavor. It is a ok to make mistakes, as Sarayu puts it; you had just better not couch everything in absolutes! Or your mistakes will be deadly at worst and devastating at best. I have heard so many stories of people who are pushed away because of the failure of grace blessed people who are way too concerned with telling others "what God wants you to do, how God expects you to act" instead of grabbing a hand and holding on to heart that are wracked by guilt and shame and reminding them their lives are and can be so very special!!
Mistakes are apart of the picture, the courage is found when we own up to them... Can we repent and not keep making the same ones over and over?

It feels like living out a relationship, a bit more complicated than following rules"... (p197) How do rules help you in relationship building? how do they hinder?

How about understanding God as a verb? (I am who I am) Powerful movement beyond seeing God as "an old man who is wise" or a "powerful God on a throne".... God simply is. Motion, movement, a verb, not a adverb or a noun.... How do you experience God as a verb? What verbs do you use to describe the Lord? Did Jesus uses verbs to describe the Lord?

Eclipse of the heart......

Roussou's quote is very intriguing... falsehood has a million variations, truth one expression....sigh.... if only it were that easy!! Do you see truth as absolute or as shaped by circumstance?

How about the ideas expressed on p. 185.... "Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it.." God working in circumstances rather than directing the result...we still like the idea that God is in control!! But this exchange seems to imply that God is not "in control" of the moment but the process... how does that make you feel? In Process Theology God invites us to "co-create" along with the Lord... in this model the Independence of the creature is the greatest love of the creator.. a true Independence is offered, but also is a true accountability for ones decisions and the results therein.... Does it feel more comfortable to have God as the one who orchestrates life, who dictates all results? Or do you find it more captivating to think that the Lord is inviting us to play a role in the creation, placing upon us the need to not just "let God work" but also to have us work for the good of the Kingdom?

"Lies are a little fortress; inside them you feel safe"... of course, sometimes the truth hurts!!! Do you like my outfit???!!! Is it better to skirt reality to save someones feelings?

Jesus is the very center of our purpose (p. 192)how do you understand this to be true? is it salvific or is it more practical that that? How do you try to embrace the wholeness of Jesus teachings so that they are not just knowledge in your head, but actions felt around you as well?

Chasing what was to get to what is.....

So, how would you feeling if you knew someone whom you cared about was not just gone but very much ok? Mack has passed (in the school sense of course!) the judgement and the sadness is gone.. would you want such a glimpse into heaven for the sake of being comforted? What role would faith play in such a contact?

Jesus says that Missy was never alone during her abduction and murder... what connection do you thing Christ had with Missy during that time of fear and evil? Do you think Missy knew Jesus was there? What is the difference between Jesus being present and being Lord of all circumstances? How does this affect the way we pray? Is it misguided to ask Jesus and God to change our circumstances?

"Have you noticed that in your pain you assume the worst of me.." (p. 176) How does our prayer life often assume the worst of Jesus? I am thinking in the realm of sports where someone on both teams prayers to "play well" (read: win... sorry... I am a Lombardian (as in Vince!) here.. if the competition is to matter, then the measure is winning... playing is great, and one can feel good about the effort, but the measure is winning) but only one wins... does God seek a specific outcome or is God making a statement about one team over the other? Make no mistake, there are those who believe the prayers of the righteous trump the prayers of the pagan... If your prayers are not answered in the way you had hoped, do you assume the worst of God?

"What (I came to build) is a living breathing community of all those who love me, not buildings and programs" p. 179... How do we experience the love of God at GSUMC? How do we bring our hearts in love to GSUMC?

Jesus is not too big on religion... what could this statement mean for the church? What does p. 182 (definitely more universal in its approach to salvation) represent for us and our capacity to exclude others because they don't meet our standards of judgement/faith?

of judgement and other messy topics....

Mack placed not before the Judge, Mack becoming the one asked to make decisions about who should live, who should die, who did right, who is wrong.... when given the absolute authority to make the call, Mack backs away!! God is not primarily in the judging business; God is in the healing business. How often have you envisioned God as the arbiter, the one who holds the scales in His/Her hands expecting to present the already known verdict? Do you fear judgement?! Most of us tend to see ourselves in one of two extremes; either filled with a self righteousness and high opinion of self or laden with self loathing and deprecation. And, I find it interesting that for Jesus in the scriptures there is not much middle ground either. The gospels all speak of the goats and sheep, the "for me or against me" mode, the weeds and the fruit giving gardens. Mack is discovering that our capacity to judge is flawed, our values are too skewed by the aforementioned extremes to adequately serve as judge in any case!

Now, how do we deal with discernment? Is a judgement an absolute, or is placed in the moment? Discernment tends to deconstruct for the sake of clarity and identify what is "helpful" and what is "destructive ". What is the difference for you? Judgement demands all the facts and does seem to be rather final, but discernment is supposed to inform and affect how we respond to circumstances as disciples.

Ah, the freedom issue... "You demanded independence and are now angry at the one who loved you enough to give it to you." (p. 164) That independence seems to be one heck of a catch 22... it is what makes us potentially our best, and yet allows us to be the worst. My devotion this morning included a reading by CS Lewis. Lewis stated that there is a special center we all have, and our lives are either moving that center of being toward the heavenly or the hellish. We are either growing toward the good, or we are heading toward the evil. We are either defending our self, or we are becoming more selfless... we are doing the right things for the right reasons, or we are stumbling around trying to convince ourselves that we are doing the right things and yet the reasons are very debilitating and destructive.

"Judgement is not about destruction, it is about setting things right" (p.169) How can we become better equipped to effectively assess the world and those around us? How can judging be a sinful endeavor? Have you ever judged thinking that you have all the information and yet later found out you were lacking a great deal of the necessary facts?

Do you think Jesus expects us to discern what is good for ours? How are you aware of the hurt and anguish that surrounds you, and how do you address it?

That was yesterday...

today I am walkin' on water!! Jesus speaks of living in the past, present or future as a place of imagination. I love the idea that imagination without wisdom is something which enslaves us, wounds us, a cruel task master. Where do you spend your time? In the past, trying to change something that no longer has any relevance? Wishing for a different combination of circumstances so that the future will be different? Or in the present, allowing your past to inform a place where you live life in the moment, trusting in a future which is guided by love and hope? Will you picture Christ in your future? Does that seem hard to envision?

How about the section were Jesus speaks of the earth, that the earth "having no one to guide or direct her, only use her." Stewardship is about many things, money, time, gifts, but it is also about the way we cherish the earth. Anyone who believes in a creator God must recognize 'the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof". How do you care for the earth? Do you recycle?

Get a trowel.......

and tackle the wild garden!!!! Or would a shovel be better!!?? Does the image of the soul as garden sound appealing to you?? I have never been much of a gardener... planted some tomatoes once. Oh, and some radishes!! I liked those radishes! The garden metaphor for the soul is one that resonates because the garden requires care...attention.... time. Mack sees Sarayu who takes to the task with ease while it translates into labor for him. Her line on 131 sinks his frustration with the hard work.... "It is not the work but the purpose which makes it special!". What does Sarayu mean by that?

How much time do you spend cultivating your spirituality, your garden?

Poisonous plants have a purpose... there are lots of plants which in the proper amount have great healing properties, but in excess cause death. How does the idea of poisonous plant in your garden feel? Threatening? Anxiety producing? What would be a "poison" plant that could accomplish some good? (Think Jesus in the temple! Matt 21:12)

Do you feel like your soul is a mess? What kind of tools would be necessary to clean it up? How could the Holy Spirit help you accomplish the task? How much of your Independence would you have to give up? How would you have to change the means (read :values) that you utilize to assess right or wrong?

ouch.. sin hurts....

I stopped yesterday at 119 because the next page drives me nuts. The good news is I am not the only one!! David, Peter and other Biblical writers all struggled with "why does it seem as if the unjust go unpunished?". Why does it seem as though we go through experiences that hurt us greatly and there is no resolution? Sorry papa, not satisfied with "sin is its own punishment". I guess that it why it is so easy to fall into the framework of "God, please smiteth the evil" and our failure is that we then accuse those whom we are at odds with as being of the devil! I think Jesus had it going on when he spoke of repentance.... everyone who has fallen short or is living separated from God (that is sin, not simple acts but a state of brokenness and separation which leads to those acts.. that is why even as I am frustrated with papa's quote s/he is very right!) and we are required to turn it around.. I'm sorry will only go so far! Eventually we have to mean it. Otherwise, we do serve as our own punishers, also punishing those around us as well. And page 121 says it all: "Each seemed more aware of the others than of themselves." That is what a life committed to holiness is really all about! Being aware of the world around us, seeing and accepting our impact upon it, the impact of others upon us, and then growing toward the best rather than the easiest or the self interested. When our great hope is not to dominate but to consolidate, then the Kingdom of God begins to be realized.

How do you evaluate your relationships? Are you one who finds it easy to say your sorry? How far should we go in a broken relationship before we acknowledge incompatibility? When have you found yourself wounded by someone whose pride will not bring resolution? Have you ever hurt someone and not offered and apology?

What are the sins in your life? How about the tendencies that might lead to sin? (arrogance, pride, self centeredness, anger, contempt, etc?)

Does accepting the awareness of those who surround us mean that we roll over and become martyrs when wounded? Should Christians be doormats for the broken?

Mmmm.. tasty!!!

Is your relationship with the Lord made of words or stuff? The incredible potency of the sacraments is bound up in the reality that they are made of stuff.. bread and wine (ok, juice for us UM's!) and water for baptism...we use oil for healing prayers, incense to add scents and aroma, ashes to speak of mortality and musical instruments to give sonic substance to a message that sometimes seems far away, "eternal" if you will. I remember going to the monastery in Jerusalem where the Lord's prayer lined the archways on many tablets written in dozens and dozens of languages. As inspiring as it was to hear the LP spoken in so many different tongues (we wound up hearing it in French, German, Arabic, and Spanish among just a few; I tackled the Russian!), the heart felt expressions of many languages stayed right there on the wall and the only thing we carried from that encounter were words. Comforting yes, but waiting for each of us to bring them to life, to put them into action. By giving someone else some bread when we had some left over, extending the hand of forgiveness when it was needed, grabbing ahold of the strength of another when feeling weak and tempted, remembering that God has set us apart to not just be good, but to do good! Mack is getting a sensory experience which coaxes the most basic needs out of him; need to eat, to be touched, to look not into a word about Jesus but directly into his eyes.

Does God get mad? It sounds like the kids of the kingdom can make one heck of a mess of their lives! Have you ever felt God was mad at you? Revelation (3:19) tells us that God reproves the ones the Lord loves, so correction is not a sign of dislike, but of love!
"But the only one pretending is you.".... Papa addresses Mack's assumptions by challenging them (p.119). What assumptions do you have about God which might be challenged? How do you work though the challenges?

Jesus is real... really real??!!!

Metaphysics aside, let's face it; one of the most difficult ideas to gather in is the idea that Christ is not just with us, but within us. The "Footsteps" poem is really great and a powerful source of comfort in times of trial, but it would seem that Jesus is expecting more from us than just another opportunity for carrying us. Jesus is looking for a relationship, a connection which is not just supportive, but trans formative. I read a great article in TIME about spirituality and it pointed to studies that are showing certain portions of our brain are actually wired for spiritual things, to come alive not with tangible, physical events but something that cannot be sensory appreciated. Jesus speaks to Mack of a relationship which is dynamic and active, a union transcending the stuff of creation. Page 122 gives us a window into what Jesus is talking about; "being always transcends appearances". Are we often content with how things appear as opposed to how they really are? Is how something "is" obvious, or are we required to use something called discernment? Do you think Missy's attacker was initially rude, mean and cruel to Missy, or do you think he appeared to be helpful, kind and sharing to her in order to gain her trust?

Trust is the issue; have you encountered people who are far different in their public persona as opposed to their private persona? My stepfather growing up was a prototypical parent/ husband, yet what we experienced at home was far different than how he was in public. Does this say anything to you as to how the lives of others can be so very complex and beyond a simple assessment? Do we sometimes make judgements and use appearance instead of being as the standard?

How have you known Jesus as human? Or are you more comfortable with the Christ image, the divine image? The difference is huge; are you content with Christ as your savior, or do you wish to be his disciple, his friend?

so why does it seem.....

that Papa is always in the kitchen? And what is this about the Lord of life actually dropping something? What might be the metaphors/ideas at work here?

Devotions are definitely different in God's kitchen! How nice to not make a "theological point" in devotions but to just make a point about relationship and its beauty!! We should all try that sometime!!! The gift of authenticity is the one power that changes us and those around us. It is also very scary, for culture (even Christian) teaches us that our authentic selves are broken or unworthy. How can we seek the more authentic person rather than the persona we often assume in order to be important, powerful etc?

The visit to the dock is a very personal one, often our meditation attempts to get God to act in the small portions of the world rather than us seeing the more majestic place and that we are a part of it, not the sum. How could our admiration of God be more majestic, more vast?

Limitless and limiting...

Mack finds himself greeted by the essence of holiness... God as one, God as three... God in whatever way God wishes to be perceived! Perhaps this is why Yahweh means "I am what I am", or "I am".... God will not simply be what we want God to be, but rather God will be what God needs to be. The opening quote is very powerful (p.88); The power trip we place upon God often obscures the most potent power that creation or humanity fails to mimic, seeking and honoring limits. Interesting that in theological constructs evil seeks no limits, while God seeks limits. Why would this be? How do we play into this trap of thinking that true discipleship has no limitations? When have you found yourself thwarted or constricted by the limits of the people who surround you? What do you see as your own limits in discipleship? Are the limits real or perceived?

What do you think about the differentiation between the need for fathering as opposed to mothering? (p.94) God assumes a form out of necessity rather than out of purpose, is this why he comes to Mack as a female?

What is the difference between head issues and heart issues? How would you characterize each? One seems to be about information, one about context...

"You, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live life as if unloved for you is a limitation." p. 97.... What is Papa saying in this phrase?